Avoiding Life...

So, I've been thinking a lot about how we as humans do our best to avoid life. For instance, I get mad when I'm trying to get ready, but it's so stinking hot in my house that I can't get my clothes on because they stick to my body. So, I stand in front of our window air conditioner, not only to get ready, but to put on my make-up and do my hair. What will me being hot really hurt? It isn't hot enough to make me pass out, it's just uncomfortable...uncomfortable. I've lived my whole life avoiding being uncomfortable. I don't like confrontations because it makes things weird, I don't have those serious conversations about where a person is spiritually because it makes me feel uncomfortable, and I don't do the things God has for me because it might make me feel uncomfortable.

I remember reading a book for one of my bible classes at Olivet that talked about this very thing. The author said that we learn to truely live life when we face our emotions. When we face situations head on and let ourselves react with all our raw emotion, we finally experience life for how God intended it to be. He didn't create us to take the easy path and lead a comfortable life. He himself died on a cross...I don't think he took the easy way. He took the world head on and did what was right, even though his friends turned on him...and I'm sure hanging on the cross was a little uncomfortable.

I'm so scared about going to Africa because I don't know what to bring and I don't want to bring too much and be the spoiled American. They've led on that there won't be a lot for meals and our lodging won't be the best. Student Accounts at Olivet actually asked if we were going to be staying in tents because that was the cheapest they had ever seen lodging be for any school. I know I could take the comfortable way and bring as much stuff w/ me as possible and bring extra money to fill in gaps in the meals, but I honestly want to experience Africa for all that it is worth. I want to be uncomfortable. I want to feel hunger pains and know that I've had more to eat in a day than most Africans get in a week. I want to face life and quit avoiding the true emotions that are out there...not the watered down life that I have learned to live.

I will say that one thing I do dread facing head on is leaving my parents at the airport. I know my mom will be crying and I know I'll be trying so hard not to, but what would it hurt to give in? What if I had a good cry before I left and acted like a 5 year old and told my parents how much I love them and that I'll miss them so very much? What would it hurt? I'd just be facing the trueness of life...realizing that I have something here that is worth missing...a family that loves me for who I am.